Dallin's E.R. Visit....aka...Mom's Mental Breakdown

We had hoped to miss a year and break our rotten annual E.R. visit with Dallin, but it was to no avail....Dallin went to the emergency room for stitches on Thursday evening. Here is the whole story (with all the gorey details).
Our story begins in time out. Shouldn't all good stories begin this way? LOL Dallin was in timeout. Kate was in timeout. I honestly can't remember what they had done to get there--only that they were at this point giggling and talking with each other and I was getting increasingly frustrated that they were not being "punished". After giving warning that if they wouldn't sit in timeout quietly, they would have to go to their rooms (which of course they completely ignored), I told Dallin to go up to his room. He said "no!" and sat in place. So I gave him the mom look, told him to get to his room right now, and started towards his chair (which was in the kitchen by the backdoor). At this point, he must have decided I was serious because he leapt out of his chair and started running in the direction of his room. In his rush, he stumbled and fell into the kitchen cubboards with his face on his way out of the kitchen. If you know Dallin, you know he is always in such a rush that he is bouncing off walls, running into things, tripping and falling ALL THE TIME. So when he turned around holding his head and crying, I didn't think much of it (I actually thought he was exaggerating so he wouldn't have to go to his room). But then...I saw it.

Blood. Lots and lots of crimson blood started coming out from between his fingers...from under the hand that he had pressed on his forehead. Then it started running down his face. I felt my stomach flip and my heart go to my throat. I bent down and asked him to let me see. I removed his hand and although blood was pouring and I couldn't get a good look at it, I could tell it was a nasty cut--deep and about 1 inch long right through his eyebrow and almost to his eye. Blood was running all over his shirt and the floor. I sat Dallin on the chair, grabbed a washrag, put cool water on it and pressed it to his head. Then I started to cry. Not pretty crying either. The ugly nasty sobbing that you never want anyone else to witness. This was different for me because the previous 2 times we have E.R.'d it I have been able to hold things together AMAZINGLY well (at least in front of the kids). This one was by far the worst and it was right on his forehead so it really scared me. It didn't help that I convinced myself that it was all my fault--that he was critically injured and bleeding from the head because I had put him in time out and because I had told him to get up to his room right now. I don't think I have ever felt so terrible. "Oh Dallin! Oh Dallin! Oh Dallin, I'm so sorry! It's going to be ok! Everything is going to be alright"

I knew I had to get him to the hospital. This was the next big task since I had my 2 children, the little guy I tend for a few hours am and pm while his mom works who is 2, and my niece-Madison who is 9 mo old.....oh, and no car. Thankfully, I had put Madison into the exersaucer so she was safe and contained. (She is really mobile now and it scares me when she heads for the stairs or I don't know exactly where she is). Bracken and Kate are both really easy kiddos who tend to mind pretty well. They stared-wide eyed- while all of this happened...frozen in place in the living room during the drama. I later felt really bad because they were probably very frightened but all I could see was Dallin and all I could think about was how to make the bleeding stop and get help. I tried to call my mom and Tammy at my mom's house...no answer. I tried to call my mom's cell...no answer. Now I am STILL crying and getting more freaked out about how to get him to the hospital and make sure all the kids are taken care of. Every once in a while, Dallin cries out that he can't see so I move the washrag up out of his eye and pray to God that his eye is not damaged. I start to call Tammy's cell...and she pulls up with my mom in the van. I tear off to the door, throw it open and yell "I need help! I need help!". Tammy looks at me. (Later she said she could see Bracken and Kate, but not Maddie or Dallin so she was trying to figure out what had happened). I run back into the house and point at Dallin "I have to take him to the hospital! I need help!"

Team Sharp flew into action. I was so grateful that Tammy and my mom were there and they were so cool and collected especially since I was not. Tammy ran out and got my mom. My mom ran in. I sputtered something about the fact that we had a new insurance and that we just got the cards a couple of days ago...they were in my room...somewhere. My mom ran upstairs to look for them. Tammy ran and got Dallin some shorts and shoes for the hospital (yep, he usually wears no pants at the house. Hey, it's Texas and it's hot) Then Tammy tried to look for the card too. Sometimes I would think I remembered where I put it, but I was wrong every time. I was starting to get scared. Dallin needed to go to the hospital. I was just getting ready to go without it when I ran upstairs and went straight to it. I ran back down and loaded Dallin into my mom's van. Tammy stayed with the kids and cleaned up the blood. On the way out of the driveway, Christopher walked up. "What's going on?" Then he saw Dallin. "Oh!" I told him we were going to the hospital and I would call him later. "Ok. Dallin I love you!"

On the way to the hosptial we HOPED would accept my insurance, I tried to call the number on the card to find out for sure if they did. I was STILL crying. Dallin had long since stopped, but had decided that he was "so so tired" and kept trying to fall asleep. Because this was a head injury, this freaked me out even more. So I am on the phone going through a million options trying to get to a real person who can answer my question while crying and rubbing his chest and telling him to stay awake! I promise him any kind of ice cream he wants when we get home if he will stay awake. I finally get someone who tells me that the hospital we are headed for is covered. Good. Fine.

We get to the hospital. While I am getting Dallin out of the car, Dallin puts his arms around me, holds me tight and says "it's ok mom. it's alright! everything is going to be ok. i love you mom!" I melt and start crying harder. I say "Dallin, I love so much! Everything will be fine and you are being sooo much braver than mommy!" I check Dallin in while mom parks the van. I am sobbing and holding him. Hugging him close to my body. Trying to both look and not look at his injury at the same time. The man checking me in says "It's going to be ok. He's not that bad." I look away, slightly embarrassed but unable to stop. My mom comes in and sits beside us in the waiting room just in time for us to be called back. It was the shortest ER wait EVER! Dallin was apprehensive at first being checked in, but soon discovers that the finger thing does not hurt at all. They give Dallin his OWN little exam room with his own TV. He is soooo excited! He is in heaven! "My OWN room! The bed is soooo soft! Ahhhh! Oh, it is so nice in here. This is so cool! This is very exciting! Oh wow! cartoons!" He kicks back and acts like he is chillin at home watchin a good flick. Blissfully unaware that his forehead looks like someone took a melon baller and scooped some out. He hears a child crying. Nana tries to comfort him by telling him that this other child was there for something different. Dallin knows the truth though "I think that kid wants this soft comfy bed!" LOL I laugh. I can feel the bravery trickling back into my body. Nurse Margaret comes in and tells Dallin that he will need stitches. "I don't want stitches! No! No, get well cuts!" Hmmm can we tell he has had these before? Nurse Margaret puts numbing gel and a band aid on him and he is pretty good about the whole thing. She tells him he will have to lay upside down for the Dr. to fix him up. So....every time she passes our room while we are waiting for it to numb up, Dallin yells "There she is! Time to get ready for the dr." then he jumps up flips around on the bed and waits...nope not this time. LOL It was really cute. He is mesmerized by all the dr. tools and is thrilled silly when they check his ears. They bring in more things to fix him up and lay them out. Dallin is getting more excited. I am getting more nauseated. Finally, it is time.

They come in and put surgical tape over his eye to keep any blood out of it. At first, Dallin is scared "I can't see! I can't see!", but I tell him that he is a cool pirate just like Captain Feathersword (on the Wiggles) and this is his pirate patch. Then they take out the long needle and start sticking it in the cut shooting him full of numb juice. Unfortunately, the numb gel didn't seem to work with him and he is screaming and writhing. I am having to hold him down while I hold his hands. The nurse keeps telling him this will make it not hurt anymore. UNFORTUNATELY, it appears Dallin is reisistant to lydocane. They started to stitch and every stitch, he screamed and writhed. He screamed that scream that makes you wince and sends shivers to your toes. His eye was covered so there was no way he could see WHEN they were doing it. He could feel every pull and every tug, every time they put the needle through his skin. The nurse was shocked and I could tell she and the dr. felt tenderly towards Dallin because they knew he could feel everything. He cried and begged me over and over again "please mommy! mommy, where are you? mommy i can't see you! please mommy take me away from this! mommy please let's get out of here! mommy! please take me away from here!" I said what few comforting things I could "I'm here Dallin! It will be over soon. They have to take care of this Dallin. We will leave as soon as they are done". All the while I felt like my heart was on the outside of my body breaking and falling apart. I felt so helpless. I knew he had to have it done. I knew I couldn't stop the pain, but Oh, how I wanted to just take him away from it all. I wanted to tell them to stop and just take him home. He was scared and hurting and my heart still hurts to think about it. While we were going through this, I actually thought that in some very minute degree this must be what Heavenly Father felt when they sacrificed his Son. What agony! With your son, begging you to help him. Asking where have you gone? All the while you are sitting there as close as you possibly can be...knowing this HAS to happen but in so much pain yourself that you can't breathe. It gave me insight into the atonement and the sacrifice that Heavenly Father made that I have never had before.

The nurse and the doctor keep trying to focus Dallin on other things. They ask him if he has pets and all about them. If he has brothers and sisters. Anything they can think of and they hang onto every word. This was sooo helpful. I will not soon forget their kindness. Soon, it is over. I hold my son in my arms and wait for discharge papers. He quickly recovers and is in good spirits again. Nana is taking him to Golden Chick (his favorite) and getting dinner (she also gets him 6 PRIZE EGGS!). Mommy is telling him how brave he is. The nurse keeps shaking her head saying "he must just be wired a little differently because he could feel it. he could really feel it". I am trying to forget. We get our discharge papers and instructions and go to register (no, they didn't make us do it first) and check out. While we are waiting, Dallin gets very excited that they are bringing a lady in on a stretcher. I keep trying to tell him to stop pointing. Every nurse and every dr stops to talk to Dallin about his stitches. He doesn't want to talk about stitches though and talks about soccer, his sister, Spider-Man, and a million other things that are WAY more important in his world. One police man even stops to talk to Dallin and lets him pick 3 Iron Man stickers. Dallin was VERY excited and has been very proud of those stickers. When the police officer says goodbye, he gives Dallin a pat on the bum and Dallin says (loudly) "hey! he just touched my bum!" LOL The police officer turns around and I laugh...so does he. We have to go back in 5 days to get the stitches out.

Dallin is asleep when we get home. I put him in bed, return a couple of calls, and cry in my mom's arms. (gotta love moms!) Later Dallin will put all his stickers on the fridge and insist I take his picture pointing at each one.

His eye swells and the ice I try to get him to keep on it, he unwraps and eats. hmmm. We get up every 3 hours in the night to make sure he does not have any unseen injury and that we are able to wake him. Dallin answers all of Christopher's questions correctly and wants me to tell him a Handy Manny story at midnight. Yep...he's fine. At 3, he smiles and talks for a while. At 6...he is up and ready for the day. He says he wants to go and do it again! I tell him that I am not ready. Now, he has a swollen black eye and he looks like he has a big time lazy eye because the swelling makes him really squinty on one eye. He realizes that he can't go swimming or splash in the tub or even run through the sprinklers with his stitches....hmmm...maybe they aren't so cool after all? He is looking forward to having them out, and so am I. I am glad it is over and he is well. I am not wanting to do this again...EVER. I can still see it over and over when I close my eyes and cry when I think about it. I know...I am a ninny. Uncle Michael doesn't like to look at them. Dallin realizes Uncle Michael won't look at them and starts crying tonight at dinner because "My face looks so funny that Uncle Michael won't even look at me!" Uncle Michael looks at him. We assure him that he is still handsome. I love him so much. What a brave, funny little man!